Old Moon

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A Small Splash?



Well, here's a cautious offering:

I love haiku, even nontraditional subjects. Maybe one reason is they demand so little skill.
Apologies for formatting. I don't seem able to control it here at all.

Birches

Sleek triplets white

in scattered flashes, adorn

winter's sleeping woods.

Weeds

Brash rustics, crowd in

among fine grass, thornĂ©d rose –

they brave slashing hoe.


Spring

Imperceptibly

full buds swell to sweet birdsong –

Croci laugh at snow.


Friendship

The hand's clasp unfelt

and sweet voiced words unspoken

–love's gifts accepted.


Breakfast

Why not alone taste

first savor of the day? Boor,

The bacon’s burning.

1 comment:

Pat Workman said...

This is great, Joan. You are making me do some homework.

I don't know much about haiku form--other than the 5-7-5 syllable format, inclusion of nature, show don't tell imagery and I know there is a whole lot more. I understand that there are also acceptable informal types of haiku as well. There are those who believe all poets should be forced to write nothing but haiku for a good period of time before branching out into longer and more complex verse. I am just throwing out thoughts as they pop back into my memory. Here's another that just surfaced as I was reading you verses. It is not uncommon for the completion of a good haiku to take years. I do know that simple, concise writing is an art form all by it's self. Haiku being a prime example. I will never master it.

Each of the gems you have offered are delightful.

My very favorites:

Spring

"Imperceptibly
full buds swell to sweet birdsong –
Croci laugh at snow."
-------
interesting play with imagery and movement–
literal involvement for the reader is great. Great last line!

Breakfast

"Why not alone taste
first savor of the day? Boor,
The bacon’s burning."
------
Loved the fulcrum shift of the word “Boor”
to the fantastic last line:
“the bacon's burning”